this can't be an accident.

penis nose mask w/ pot leaf scarf.
$2, family discount store, bell st mall, heidelberg west.

sweax.

i got this with a magazine sample bag a couple of months ago and have kept it because...because the cheapskate in me sez MAYBE ONE DAY IT WILL COME IN HANDY.
it's a pad.
a pad for men's underarms.
this exists, for real.
and is apparently worthy of taking up space in my medicine cabinet.
yeah, i don't know either.

elvis...tree.

$250 + $20 postage.
i live for shit like this.

op-shop score of the week.

six disneyland lps, in v.good condition, $3 for the lot.
the picture discs are from the early 80s, the rest from the early 60s.
colour me rapt.
from the wildlife victoria op-shop, heidelberg west.

lol, cats.

i like weird stories about weird cats.
the greatest thing i have ever heard of in my life lives (here)

i married some douche with a cheesy nickname.

oh that's life!, you never let me down.
payrate for this story: $300.
dear stoopid lady,
no, you didn't marry homer simpson.
you married some fuckwallet called brent simpson, who his mates oh-so-imaginatively nicknamed homer.
you marrying some snatchknicker with a shitty nickname does not an interesting story make.
it does, however, make for some damn fine lolz.
at your expense.
the end.

pick-tu-errs.

i've been caring for my 9-yr-old brother while our mum is in perth with our ailing nan.
last night, we did some fabric painting.
mine is on the grey fabric, his is on the red.

you sly bastards.

what the hell?
at international cakes in the cbd greek precinct, a choc waffle, slice of mud cake, and a coffee costs $16.
you wouldn't get away with that shit in sydney rd, fuckers!