Shopping List Month: List Six

the list.

contents are: potatoes, spinach/silverbeet, lettuce, carrots, pumpkin, c/flour (cauliflower), corn, 2 tomatoes, fruit (NO APPLES), bread + rolls, coca cola, beer, cat food 6-12, dog food x 4, dog biscuits, w e paper (??? decided this was toilet paper), 2 tissues, kitchen paper x 2, butter x 2, filo pastry, 2 coffee beans, bacon, joe's thick soy sauce (i have no idea what this is & neither does google, so i got kecap manis, cos thick and soy), taylor's tartare sauce, fillet steak, lamb chops, 2 pork fillets, fish, roast pork + crackle.

HOLY MONSTER LIST.
holy coffee & alcohol (beer, which i hate, but it'll do).
this...this may take me a while.

receipt one.

receipt two. monster lists require multiple supermarkets.

the goods.

meal one: afternoon beeru

only my judge dredd cup could handle such a beverage.

beer. never been fond of the stuff. i bought my beer from aldi, the shit all tastes the same to me. i thought i'd mix it with coke to try and cover up the awful taste. it worked, just enough to stop me gagging. AND ANOTHER THING, beer, you know what i hate about you? so much liquid, bloating and toileting required to become slightly tipsy. fuck you, beer.

meal two: dinner

meal two ingredients: lettuce, butter, tomato, corn, rolls, fillet steak.

steak burger + corn drowned in butter, how it should be.

CORN, YOU JUST SHOT YR FINE SELF BACK INTO MY GOOD BOOKS, YOU SOME TASTY SHIT.

meal three: second dinner

bacon roll. the cat made me do it.

meal four: dessert

literally every single time i see or think of grapes, oprah's voice rings in my head. she's saying "NOT EVEN A GRAPE, A SINGLE GRAPE". something she said in relation to eating after a certain time at night. i have a very poor memory generally, but gee i'm great at remembering shit i heard oprah say on tv one time in 1999.

meal five: breakfast

 

buttered toast.

have i mentioned i tend not to buy butter? reason being i have trouble controlling myself around the stuff. i remember when i was a fat little girl, i had another fat little girl friend who was also fond of butter. her mother used to buy those little single serve packs of butter and when i was at her house, we would sit there in her kitchen eating packet after packet of the stuff. 

...my husband is the only person i've told that too before aaaaaaand i probably should've kept it that way.

meal six: worky wake up juice

coffee, black like my soul...or because there's no milk on the list.

meal seven: morning tea

this meal left me stuck with the wiggles in my head for the rest of the day.

meal eight: lunch

pork, tomato, spinach, kecap manis.

kecap manis. fyi, good salad dressing.

meal nine: afternoon tea

iced coffee. tastes delicious & keeps the clothes on the lady.

meal ten: dinner

meal ten ingredients: potatoes, lettuce, butter, tartare sauce, filo pastry, corn, salmon.

salmon + spud pie!

well, the pie was delicious AND i managed to drink beer sans wrongtown mixers, two thumbs up.

meal eleven: cat meal

"oh, apple, you, you don't want any of this?"

"grrrreat apple, more for me, babis cat!"

"oh, i, um...well, a taste can't hurt"

"ARGHHHHHH FUCK YOU APPLE, YOU KNEW DIDN'T YOU?? THAT FOOD IS UNHOLY, WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS TO US?!!"

meal twelve: dessert

y'know, i don't remember any other oprah quotes. just the grapes.

meal thirteen

bacon, tomato, spinach on toast w/ espresso.

guy looks pretty smug about being a tiny coffee.

meal fourteen: morning tea

i ate this after it had been sitting in a hot car for a couple of hours. mmmm, fermenty.

meal fifteen: lunch

please don't notice how thickly i've spread the butter.

meal sixteen: dinner

meal sixteen ingredients: pumpkin, spinach, pork, potatoes.

roast stuffs. i don't know how to crackle.

plus beeru.

meal seventeen: breakfast

smashed all the leftover dinner roast stuff into patties & panfried. tasted ten times more delicious than the original meal. plus cawfee.

meal eighteen: morning tea

cramming the coffee in while i can.

meal nineteen: lunch

strawbs + pineapple, iced coffee, lamb chops + cauliflower/carrots/butter/lettuce mish mash.

the paper towel

well, i used the toilet paper in the conventional way. no photos, ya sickos. the paper towel was used to make this delightful drawing.

quite depressing, really.

fun with dog

i don't have a dog, so to use all the doggie stuff on this list, i visited my brother's staffy. he fought off the household cats to enjoy his biscuits and a meal.

and then politely asked me to leave when i covered him in flea powder.

it was a good day.

END LIST.