Shopping List Month: List Five

the list.

contents are: to catch a theif DVD (goddammit people, i only learned-ed one thing in primary school & that was 'i before e except after c', where were you during this lesson listmaker?), bread, coffee, soy milk, carrots, parsnip, little roast, coffee (either they crossed it out while listmaking & changed their mind, or they just wrote it twice because, well, they clearly needed a coffee).

this is ok, this list, i can work with this. while i got a good caffeine hit with list four, i am pleased to see it in my preferred form of coffee.
 

food receipt. DVD receipt not pictured, it was $4.99 for those playing at home.

the goods.

meal one: afternoon tea

soy milk coffee.

i am quite a poor milk frother & the thought of soy milk frothing had me feeling pretty low, so kyle whizzed me up this cawfee when we got home from work. liquid farken heaven. missing sugar a little but, just a little.

meal two: dinner

roast lamb, roasted carrots + parsnip, lightly toasted bread.

obvious, but bland, dinner choice. bland was just what i was in the mood for after list four.

meal three: dessert

big ol' glass o' soy (oi).

yeah, um, pretty desperate times when you come to think of a glass of 'organic soy drink milk alternative' as dessert.

meal four: breakfast

soy cawfee.

i love you wake up juice, never leave me.

meal five: morning tea

soy milk iced coffee.

it may have been the sexy moustache protective mug talking, but this was the best iced coffee of my life, MY LIFE.

meal six: lunch

dinner leftovers.

the novelty of the blandness had worn off by lunchtime. a perfectly adequate meal.

meal...DVD

perfectly adequate teeth.

did you know that 'teeth' is the fifth featured category when you google image search cary grant? i mean, they're good teeth & all, but sheesh.

to catch a thief is one of a handful of hitchcock movies that i hadn't quite got around to watching yet. i had to make a two hour round trip to pick this up from the closest jbhifi that had it in stock. good movie, 3.5/5 stars, however i preferred grace kelly's teeth.

Shopping List Month: List Four

the list.

contents are: red bull, summer roll, twisties, doritos, burger rings, sweet chilli.

CAFFEINE. CHOCOLATE. ALL MY FAVOURITE CHIP & CHIP-LIKE FOODGOODS.
list draws have become quite stressful & i have taken to doing it eyes squeezed shut, handing it to kyle when the deed is done.
"TELL ME, TELL ME WHAT'S ON THERE, PLEASE TELL ME I'M GOING TO BE HAPPY, IS THERE CHOCOLATE?"
kyle, being an occasionally awful person, stays silent, lets me sweat a little.
"WHY WON'T YOU SPEAK?!! IT'S BAD, ISN'T IT?!!! FUCK, PLEASE, NOT SARDINES AGAIN IS IT?"
then i open my eyes. he's sitting there, smirking.
"oh...oh, i think you will like this one"
he wasn't farken kidding. i will admit i jumped around the room for an unreasonable amount of time.

i didn't notice the back of the list until i was scanning the picture into the computerythingo.

google tells me snacks are us are a snack vending machine supplier, thus shattering my perception that this list was written by the most awesome person ever/my soul sister. now i think maybe sweet chilli referred to a chip flavour, not the sauce? I COULDA HAD EVEN MORE CHIPS! but then i never would have discovered just how spectacular burger rings dipped in sweet chilli sauce are.

i felt dirty paying full price for doritos, that shit is half price at safeway every other week.

be still, my heart.

meal one: dinner

food groups: dairy, carbs, um, crack, the crack group.

i never realised until i started this month just how reliant i had become on caffeine, most often in coffee form. i used to be extremely caffeine sensitive & a cup of tea would be enough to give me the shakes & a very nauseated tumtum. since i started working earlier shifts the past couple of years, i seem to have put a lot of effort into building up my tolerance. 7am starts for the past six months & all of a sudden i can't walk out the door without coffee in hand. in other words, no caffeine the past 3 lists have been rough!

that said, i don't normally drink energy drinks. they taste gross & the ingredients scare me. this red bull, especially with no caffeine for a few days prior, made me feel very...weird. i didn't feel awake so much as disorientated.

summer roll is one of my favourite chocolates of all time! the neatfreak in me hates the coconut flakes going everywhere as you eat it, however.

meal two: second dinner?

doritos, red bull.

the novelty of junk food still fresh, i went back for round two. second red bull was a terrible idea, i had a lot of trouble getting to sleep (mostly because after i finished it, i read the MAX TWO CANS DAILY warning on the can & freaked out...i am an energy drink amateur).

meal three: breakfast

was a can of red bull at work, to try to keep myself awake, as i was tired from lack of sleep caused by...red bull. vicious cycle much?

meal four: lunch

burger rings, twisties, sweet chilli sauce.

i was excited to eat my ridiculous, but cutely contained lunch. by the end, i felt pretty damn seedy & was craving vegetables. will list five deliver??? STAYED TUNED TO FIND OUT!! (...when i can be bothered updating again...maybe tomorrow...DUN DUN DUN!!)

Shopping List Month: List Three

the list.

contents are: onion, garlic, bacon, "chok" (i wish this was chocolate, but i think it's chicken, chook), cold meat, sardines. 

oh dear god.
i am being punished with this list, i am sure.
have i mentioned that i'm rather intolerant of onions & garlic?
as in, feel sorry for the unfortunate fucker who has to share a bed with me that night.
they've both been on every farken list so far.
dem rulez state the show must go on, the onions & garlic, they must be eat(en).
sorry kyle.

also, sardines. this list was either written by a 79 year old man or a complete arsehole. or both.

cheep cheep!

zee goods. longest deli visit ever.

meal one: post-gym snack

the 'cold meat' section of our program.

ham & chicken slices, post-gym (to feed my gains...also, what goddamn choice did i have?).

meal two: breakfast

am pretty stoked to find i remember how to form basic shapes from primary school.

was initially excited to find bacon on a list for a second time. turns out it's not so great in large quantities (i lie, it fucking rules).

meal three: lunch

meal three ingredients; sardines, onion, garlic, chicken, ham, bacon.

the end result, in all it's revolting glory.

(prettaaaay flash presentation hey?...no, still looks munt-inducing)
i told myself "deedis, you just gotta eat one sardine, at least one whole sardine".
proud to report i succeeded.
sure, i had to stuff it in between a chicken tenderloin, then wrap it in ham, then wrap it in bacon, then make a pained noise and run around the lounge room with every bite & wash eat bite down with 600ml of water, but i did it.

OK PRETTY DONE WITH MEAT NOW OK, please no more, FUCK.

 

Shopping List Month: List Two

the list.

list two.
it would seem my addiction to sweet things is worse than i thought.
i have been feeling an actual pang in my HEART whenever a craving hits.
i am so desperate (...day two) that i actually cried out "SWEET POTATO, THAT'S KINDA LIKE A SWEET, THAT'S GOOD, IT'S ALL GOOD" when i drew this list.
it could be worse, i guess.

contents are: chn (i think...i guessed chicken?), garlic, steamed veg, 150(g) bacon, 10 french shallots (i had to look up what these were...), thyme, bread, green salad, "samel olek" (sambal oelek), 250(g) sweet potato, pork fillet.

ACTION SHOT (hi kyle! from jacqui)

the goods.

meal one: dinner

meal one ingredients; green salad, french shallot, bread, bacon.

nice.

i call it the BLF (bacon, lettuce, french shallot)...or bliff, if you like. it was good, very good.

meal two: breakfast

breakfast was a single pathetic piece of bread as i ran out the door. not even toasted. not worthy of a photo.

meal three: lunch

meal three ingredients; green salad, bacon, chicken, thyme, garlic.

ta fucking da!

chopped the garlic, rubbed it into chicken with the thyme, pan fried that shit. chucked in just-cute-enough lunchbox with salad mix and steamed vegetables.
what happened to the bacon? i ate the bacon straight out of the pan. because i'm a 31 year old woman & i can.

meal four: dinner

meal four ingredients; green salad, sambal oelek, sweet potato, pork fillet, garlic.

decent.

steamed the sweet potato & pan fried a little to crisp. combined sambal oelek with chopped garlic, covered sliced pork with that shit. served on salad greens with some toast (or warm bread, by the looks of it). spicy tasty goodness. did eat seconds (again, because i'm a 31 year old woman & i can).

Shopping List Month: List One

welcome bleurg, to yet another daft way to pass time: shopping list month.
i have been collecting discarded shopping lists from baskets, trolleys & footpaths for years now & ol' mate aristos (of early 2000s 'surprise chef' fame...ahem, "fame") up above has inspired me to put them to good use.
i won't be accosting young women in coles & asking to go home & cook from their basket (that's what she said), but i will be accosting myself.
for the month of november 2014, i will be shopping, cooking & eating exclusively from other people's shopping lists.

RULEZ

• lists will be drawn from a (glittery) hat(box), to remove the temptation to simply use up all the good chocolate + lolly filled lists.
• i must only use one shopping list at a time, no taking a bit of this & a bit of that from multiple lists.
• i must buy and use every item on the list at least once before moving on to the next list.
• each list can cover one day of eating, multiple days, part of a day, however long it takes me to get through it.
• consequently, i cannot eat out for the entire month, unless i guess i get a list that states 'chinese takeaway' or similar. i also cannot drink alcohol unless alcohol appears on a list. also goodbye morning coffee, afternoon pot of tea etc.
• the only extras allowed are salt, pepper, water & cooking oil. no herbs, spices, milk, butter etc. unless it's on my list.

onto list one.

contents are as follows: basil, oregano, thyme, onions, 2 celery sticks, red capsicum, spring onions, bean sprouts, chinese cabbage, zucchini, carrot, lemongrass, 4 fresh chillies, 4 kaffir lime leaves, fruit, nuts/seeds, beef mince, white fish, yoghurts, milk, jar of garlic, coconut cream, coconut milk, can crushed tomatoes, tomato paste, wholemeal spaghetti, fried noodles, thai green curry paste, clothes washing liquid, flea spray, engagement card.

note the use of question marks after a number of items in the veggie column. why the hesitation? did they already have those items & weren't certain they were needed? or maybe they just think carrots and zucchini are questionable in general, you know, cos of the shape. WE WILL NEVER KNOW.

i couldn't read the bits under fruit & nuts/seeds at the bottom of the left column...yurgin parasol? galactose? bund? ECG cots? how did the list owner manage to get the damn thing so wet in the supermarket anyway? 

pricey first list.

list one IRL.

meal one: breakfast

meal one ingredients; mandarin, yoghurt, nuts/seeds.

ingredients for my first meal, wankified.

i had hoped that arranging my meal in a visually pleasing manner would make it more palatable, which it did indeed. however, i made a rookie mistake by using up all my sweet items in one go. i am someone who usually eats something sweet with every meal, as well as sweet snacks. desperate sweet cravings haunted me for the rest of this list.

meal two: linner

meal two ingredients; celery, canned tomatoes, tomato paste, jar of garlic, beef mince, wholemeal spaghetti, oregano, green basil, thyme, carrot, zucchini, onion.

tomato-based pasta sauce + spaghetti seemed the obvious choice.

ta...da.

actually turned out pretty delicious, though i did miss the usual mountain of cheese i throw on pasta dishes.

meal three: post-gym snack

meal three ingredients; nuts/seeds, milk, coconut milk, kaffir lime leaves.

usual post-gym snack involves a protein shake, so i figured the nuts/seeds & milk would get me close enough...ish.
i don't know what compelled me to add coconut milk & torn kaffir lime leaves to the milk, but it worked somehow.

meal four: late night snack

leftover pasta mixture & fried noodles. dope.

meal five: breakfast number two

celery sticks filled with leftover pasta mixture, topped with fried noodles + milk/coconut/kaffir drink again.

i'm not gonna lie...this was undelicious. desperate for pancakes at this point.

meal six: lunch

meal six ingredients; fried noodles, spring onions, chinese cabbage, bean sprouts, red capsicum, thai green curry paste, coconut milk, lemongrass, red chillis, green basil, kaffir lime leaves, white fish (flathead).

check it.

a fish thai green curry was the other meal i guessed the list maker was going for. i butchered it slightly by adding some wrongtown ingredients, but the end result was severely tasty (and sweat inducing).

and the rest

a few non-edible items on this list, as per the rules they have to be used at least once.

the clothes washing liquid was easy, chucked a load on.

i couldn't find flea spray, so bought flea powder. i have three cats, but they don't really get fleas. but when they do, it's always kabuki who manages to bring them home. so she will be our price is right model.

thrilled to be here.

i brushed it through her thick coat & it reminded me of the dry shampoo i use. 

last item was an engagement card. i could only find one in the shop, a glittery number costing $10. i don't know any recent engaged types, so surprised my workmate with the news that she is now to marry a donut instead.

end scene!