skip to main |
skip to sidebar
HEY, I WATCHED GALAXY QUEST (1999) & IT WAS GOOD AT BEING FANTASTIC.
tim's hair in the galaxy quest tv show is exactly as i draw it & EXACTLY AS IT SHOULD BE.
i watched season one of tim's second sitcom, last man standing. it's home improvement with chicks, man! though tim's character on this one is not quite the unrecognised feminist icon i find tim taylor to be.
tim has aged well, LIKE A FINE WINE.
remember tim's army gear in the sexy edition post? ARMY TIM, PART TWO.
i rate it lower than his home improvement army outing, maybe a 5/10. not because he's more aged, this decision is solely based on lack of tightness/skimpiness.
today i started reading tim's second book, 'i'm not really here' (1996).
this book seems like what would happen if i tried to write a book.
tim provides a commentary on his day to day activities.
then he kinda just talks about physics for a few chapters...
that was a bit awkward.
then he goes & gets my darn loins all fired up again!
MY DARN LOINS, I TELLS YA.
today's artwork is by a guest artist, my mumsy!
she got into my derwents & decided to draw tim.
except she lost her spectacles.
it turned out great, mum, just great!
today i watched toy story 3 (2010).
i cried, a lot.
and now i can say i've seen the toy story movies, capping off a series of achievements in movie-trilogy-catchup-dom over the past couple of years.
so everyone can shut up now, ok?
yes, i've now seen the 3 original star wars (they were ok, y'know, harrison ford. but fuck, i hate chewy. HATE HATE HATE! SHUT UP YOU DUMB BEAST!).
yes, i've seen the matrix (totally dumb...and no, i'm not gonna watch the other two).
yes, i've seen the first lord of the rings movie (NOTHING HAPPENS. 3 HOURS FOR NOTHING TO HAPPEN). i am trying to gather the can-be-fucked-ness to watch the other ones.
i still prefer monsters inc.
we took tim to see monsters university the other day & he said he was gonna jump ship.
in home improvement news, tim was trying to write a book & instead typed out his grunts.
i have been practicing my grunts all month, but they seem to be getting worse, not better. and tim retired his grunts long ago.
WHO IS LEFT TO CARRY ON HIS LEGACY?!
yet another precious ancient language destined to die out.
DAMN YOU MODERN WORLD, DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL.
then someone made tim's head in cheese form & i have never felt more wooed.
and then, all of a sudden, it was over.
i reached the end of home improvement.
i watched a behind the scenes thingy re: the final episode & TIM PRETTY MUCH CRIED.
and when tim cries, i cry. a lot. it's been an emotional day.
today's artwork is inspired by my hunt for a picture of don rickles & tim allen together. such a thing does not appear to exist. the only logical conclusion is that don rickles HATES TIM ALLEN. to the point of beating him into a bloody pulp. i love you don rickles, but you probably shouldn't do that! i can't find a picture of don with tom hanks either, so i assume he's getting a whooping too, but at least he deserves it!
welcome to a very special SEXY edition of the daily tim allen appreciation month blog!
ALL TIM ALLEN, ALL SEXY, ALL THE TIME.
the last season of home improvement is proving to be extra SAUCY!
here we see tim get into a bit of a pickle with his pants.
or should we say, HIS pickle in his pants.
...with sexy results.
in a bizarre twist, he ends up being swallowed by his own pant zipper.
let this serve as a warning that this is what will happen to YOU, if you fiddle with yourself.
later on, tim & i once again connected through the screen, as he sent me a message.
i hear you LOUD & CLEAR, tim.
...with sexy results.
THEN THIS HAPPENED!!
i contemplated this for quite some time.
...with sexy results.
camo tim, anyone?
i'd like to camo HIS...ah, army...clothing.
...with sexy results.
now to today's artwork.
i'm not really into muscles, but ANYTHING is an exception when it comes to tim (and i mean ANYTHING, that's why i typed it in caps, you see).
so i decided to see what it would look like if tim really bulked up.
what would happen is that he would look really sexy, win mr. universe & become the next mickey hargitay!
...with sexy results.
today i watched the rodney dangerfield movie meet wally sparks (1997), which tim is in for just a teeny bit (as seen above), BUT THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH! sometimes, a small fix is a good fix.
also contained within the movie is mikael bolton! which is always good. HE'S A FUNNY GUY & HE WISHES Y'ALL KNEW IT, PLEASE, PLEASE, JUST KNOW IT, KNOW THIS ABOUT HIM.
i went though a stage a few months ago where i needed to watch 'how can we be lovers' on my phone in bed every night before i could go to sleep. i got over it eventually, but only over the routine of watching it, not the song itself.
in love triangle news, tim crashed my 8yr anniversary (8 years since my now husband downed half a bottle of bourbon & then asked "so deedee, how 'bout it?") dinner.
in home improvement news, tim dressed up as beloved australian comic, sam simmons.
and my favouritist favourites, penn & teller were on!
they put tim in a box. i'd like to put tim in MY box, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
which leads us to today's artwork.
this depicts tim performing a trick with penn & teller, which goes terribly wrong. oh tim, you so crazy!
special japan edition of the bleurg today!
tim has shared some photos from his trip to japan with me.
above is him at a castle.
out for fancy lunch.
making friends with a fellow table sitter.
getting his trad. ass on.
lunch on the train!
in home improvement news, gedde watanabe (a.k.a. long duk dong from sixteen candles, kuni from vidiot/UHF, apparently the only japanese-american actor around in the 80s & 90s) guest starred & I GOT EXCITED.
today's artwork is a fun game i will call 'where's timmy?'.
can YOU spot the tim among the kitties?
today i watched crazy on the outside (2010), tim's first movie as director. it was really cute & there was ray liotta & tim wore hoop earrings, what do you think of tim with hoop earrings? i think you know what i think (SEXY, SEXY IS WHAT I THINK).
also, something startled me in the opening titles.
ignore the naked prisoner, for once it's not about the naked prisoner.
i'm pretty sure that this is a secret message from tim asking me to scrub out my husband's name from my wrist tattoo & add his.
i'll do it, i'll do it for you, tim.
in nutritional news, tim just won't stop crapping on about his trip to japan, so we took him to our favourite j-joint.
kyle wouldn't let him sit on the table for long.
this is what you're talking about, isn't it tim? how he won't accept you as a valid part of this marriage? i'll get that tattoo, tim, that'll fix things.
shocking home improvement news!
you know how happy i was that tim said 'puss' instead of 'pussy' in his book? well, it was all for nothing, because he said it on an episode i watched today! pussy! P-U-S-S-Y.
and just look at the face he made as he was saying it!
look at it, mid-word!
i've decided he was forced to say it by the show's writers.
no wonder he made that face!
season eight has also marked the end of goth mark.
goth mark has instead been replaced with 'mark with a penchant for jazz hands'.
r.i.p. goth mark.
tim was such utter perfection today, that i treated him to a nice, big, ice-cream!
he shared, of course.
today my little brother had his b-ball game & tim came along & had a rollicking good time!
he even joined in with the other parents bitchin' about the referees (stupid 14 year old girls, y u no ref better?!).
judging by my face, this is the moment i decided to do an impromptu courtside poop, but do you think tim allen walked away, disgusted? no, of course he didn't, he stayed right by my side, grinning like an idiot, like a real man would.
back at home, i watched big trouble (2002). this movie was due to be released on september 21st, 2001. unfortunate for a movie about a nuclear bomb being smuggled onto a plane. the release was pushed back & when it finally, quietly, came out, was ignored & forgotten. COULD THIS BE THE REAL MOTIVE BEHIND 9/11? an plot to ruin tim allen's career? ENTIRELY POSSIBLY TRUE.
but rene russo & tim allen make a good pair, i think. i'd watch them do it. in fact, i did & you can too.
anyway, back to the basketball.
tim told me some pretty wild stories while we were there.
one involved a time when he was at a chicago bulls game...michael jordan was at his peak, but he was still no match for tim.
he was sitting courtside with a bevvy of babes, a gaggle of geese, a flock of seagulls, the urge just hit him & he ran alright, he ran so far away. well, not that far i guess, just as far as the ring, where he snatched the ball right outta mike's sizable hands, flew high above the net & dropped that sucka in!
i have a sad fact to share with y'all.
remember my wicked sweet first attempt at a home improvement project, the toilet roll holder?
well, i walked into the loo today & was greeted by this.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....
...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
however, turns out i'm not a one-trick pony, i fixed it!
all it needed was more tape, applied in a slightly different direction! all anything ever needs is more tape!
hooray for deedee the toolman deedis!
did you know tim allen is a fashion plate?
i had no doubt, but this wood patterned jacket he wore on home improvement just made it a solid ass fact.
HEY LOOK HERE NOW.
i was reading tim's book, 'don't stand too close to a naked man', some more & came across this.
he said 'puss' instead of 'pussy'.
something about this is deeply reassuring.
had that extra, unnecessary, vulgar, letter 'y' been present, i probably would've called this whole month off.
now onto today's artwork.
i had a pretty disturbing dream last night.
i dreamt that tim allen's lawyers served me with a 'cease & desist' order.
at first, i was unsettled, but the more i think about it, the more i think about how incredible it would be if that really happened! ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, just think about it!
